RJ’s quotes
“My Broken Pieces
A few weeks back, a longtime friend asked if I would meet her for lunch to discuss a new job offer. We sat in the restaurant for forty-five minutes discussing her new job opportunity when her face grew solemn. She sighed, staring down into her plate.
I asked, “is everything all right,” knowing she did not ask me to meet to discuss a job offer.
She said, “everything is fine, but I cannot get your story or quote about the broken pieces out of my mind.” She took a deep breath raised her head and, in half whisper, said, “it really described the broken pieces in my marriage?
I answered, “when promises, borders and commitment are broken, and especially betrayal, the relationship may be repaired but never return to what it once was or could have been.”
Before she left, she thanked me for giving her a copy. I refer to the story, as “The Broken Vase.”
The Broken Vase
Love and marriage are often broken by betrayal, lies and unkept promises. Betrayal is the ultimate form of deceit and deception. It reminded me of something I wrote many years ago about a vase that was knocked off the shelf and broken into many pieces. For a moment you’re not sure what to do but then you decide to try and repair it. Imagine trying to pick up the pieces of your life, left behind in the wake of betrayal. You must be methodical and cautious because your path is covered with egg shells. You realize it may not be the same as it once was, but would vase be good enough to keep. After all, you’ve had it for thirty years.
When you believe all the pieces have been collected and placed on the table, you do one last search for the smallest pieces you may have missed. You find two small pieces, place them on the table and stare down at the broken pieces of something you cherished and was beautiful. Something so precious you often proudly displayed it to friends Over a period of three weeks, you managed to glue the vase back together. You slowly turn it around on the table and realize it is an archaic reproduction of its original form. There are holes in it created by pieces you did not find and never will. Like the pieces missing from your relationship. Held together by history and commitment but still broken. And severely damaged.
The vase will never hold flowers again because it cannot hold water. And like your relationship, it has become fragile as you watch a piece fall off the vase when you lifted off the table. And when you think about the broken pieces collected from your relationship, you know that will also never be the same. As you held up the beautiful vase to show people it’s beauty, that now is simply a collection of glued pieces that resembles your relationship. You can no longer showcase your marriage.
Only because of its history you place the vase back on the self, but it seems out of place and detracts from the ambience around it. After a few weeks you take the vase to your home office and place it on a shelf. A few weeks later, you sadly change the location to the closet. And like your relationship it has been moved to a different place. A dark place. When people say to you, you and your wife seem to get along very well. You think about showing them the vase. All that remains of the relationship is held together by glue. After several years you are still seeking out the missing pieces from your heart knowing deep inside you will never find. There’s only one way to get them back and that is to leave. But leaving will also mean breaking more pieces.
Those are your two choices. If you leave, you will get back some of the pieces you lost but you would lose others by virtue of leaving.”— RJ Intindola – 2001